Some may wonder where the Pirates vs. Ninjas controversy started. Others may not be aware that such a controversy exists. I will begin by addressing the second group of people. WAKE UP! History’s greatest adversaries are battling right under your noses. Google it.
For the rest of you here is a brief history lesson. In 1803 the USS Philadelphia ran aground in the Bay of Tripoli and 300 sailors and Marines were taken hostage by Barbary Pirates and handed over to Tripoli’s leader, Bashaw Yussef Karamanli. In response Thomas Jefferson sent William Eaton to command a handful of Marines to free the hostages and attempt our nation’s first regime change. After hiring several assassins (Ninja) and mercenaries in Egypt, Eaton marched across the Sahara to begin the United States first overseas operation. Eaton was never able to claim a definitive victory because Jefferson withdrew his support, however the struggle between ninja and pirates continues today.
Few realize that pirates were fanatical Muslims who used the principle of Jihad to justify their violent acts. They were generally state sponsored by Arab kingdoms trying to spread the word of Allah and make a buck. The U.S. had its hands in the Middle East cookie jar long before the discovery of oil. Due to our severely depleted Post-Revolution military our founding fathers found it necessary to pay off countries like Tunis and Tripoli to keep pirates from attacking our ships and harbors. Through the efforts of brave men such as the infamous Captain Kidd (who was so ninja that everyone thought he was a pirate) we were eventually able to rid our oceans of these barnacle loving terrorists. However, in recent years we have seen a resurgence of the pirate propaganda machine, from blockbuster movies to children’s books they are recruiting supporters by the thousands.
The Ninja have always stood for honor, loyalty and awesomeness. The ninja have never attacked our country. (The ninja do not fly planes they depend on stealth and Chinese stars and therefore could not have been a part of Pearl Harbor or 9/11.) Ninja have been the heroes of Japanese culture, protecting small towns and farms from the Emperors forces. Ninja work in total anonymity, they do not boast of their accomplishments. Ninja do not pillage and plunder in fact they are very polite. The ninja ranks are dwindling; Hollywood has not made a ninja movie since American Ninja 5 in 1992, because of their extreme stealth their battles go unnoticed by the media.
It is almost impossible to become a ninja; you must be able to master stars, nun chucks, staff, scythe, darts, and disappearing. Luckily you don’t have to become a ninja to be ninja. The adjective “ninja” describes anyone who is totally sweet and hates pirates. George W. Bush once said “you are either with us or against us.” So my fellow ninja, hasta la revolucion!
7 comments:
Your link betrays you:
"Ninjas cut off heads ALL the time and don't even think twice about it. These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time. I heard that there was this ninja who was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the ninja killed the whole town. My friend Mark said that he saw a ninja totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window."
That link was ment to demonstrate the awesomeness of the ninja. You can't believe every crazy ninja story you hear. I had a feeling you'd side with the pirates.
Not siding with anyone... just seeking clarification on your seemingly conflicting link. Me, personally, I prefer bunnies.
What the heck were ninjas doing in Africa? I don't know if your story adds up? Can you become a ninja w/o some sort of master/sen se? Who passes you off when you're finally mastered your throwing stars? Is it like a board of review for your Eagle Scout? I hate ninjas, unless of course, they were sworn to protect me I guess.
Excellent hyperlinking dude.
I admit my belief that the Egyptian assasins were ninja is an assumption. However there is no proof that they weren't (an argument used often by republican congresmen) and they obviously hated pirates and were good at killing.
You hate ninja because you fear them. As long as you are not a pirate you have nothing to fear. Unless you are a bunnie like Marc, ninja use bunnies as toilet paper.
I'm not sure how one becomes a ninja. Probably nobody knows.
Yeah, but ninjas can't say "ARRRR, matey" or "Shiver me timbers!!!". When was the last time you saw a ninja with a parrot on his shoulder? Huh? Never!!! All ninjas do is eat pizza and say "Cowabunga, dude!". Yeah, okay, they do a lot of backflips and stuff too.
I'm so tired of the misconception of ninjas. We dont "flip out", or even kill that often, and when they do kill, they wait for the perfect moment so they arent seen or heard.
AND... this may suprise you...
THE TMNT RETARDS ARENT NINJA.
1.)ninjas arent turtles that say "cowabunga", and definitely dont live in sewers.
2.)we ninjas dont face opponents, they kill or incapacitate before their presence is even known
whoever made the TMNT obviously actually hated ninjas and wanted to give us a bad image, but instead he gave us a laughable image that caused the ninja population to severely decrease.
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